…no reason to live. This is perfect for you.
Another line from 500 Days of Summer which made me think of Ramona Falls.
I was fortunate enough to see Ramona Falls perform their second show ever at Café Du Nord. At the time that their debut CD came out I was about as deep in depression as I could get. And in the famous theme of misery loving company, I listened to it over and over. It’s a pretty dark CD over all but really good.
Ramona Falls – Going Once, Going Twice
A friend told me that she thought of me when she heard this song…and I really couldn’t argue with her. It definitely rang true for me. I’m still dealing with depression and the number one thing that has helped me is hearing from other people. Somehow that reminder that we are all dealing with the human condition helps. So to add to the conscious collective…
The one thing that keeps happening for me that I struggle with is this suicidal feeling. Even though I feel relatively better (than I did six months ago) I still get that feeling. I’m trying my best to accept that it’s just the depression and not “me”…or that it’s not necessarily a weighed and perfectly thought out idea.
At this point, I’m pretty sure I have no interest in leaving this mortal coil and it’s almost become a fascination. Like…what would it feel like to have a bullet break skin and bone. I know that sounds a bit morbid, but just as an experience I’m curious. I think that if I could be assured a full 100% recovery with no lasting problems, I would definitely want to experience it. And if I’m completely honest with myself I also look forward to the subsequent sympathy and attention of the people I love…but I can share my abandonment issues another time.
For now, I just need to think of these feelings like sinus pressure from a cold. It’s not me but just a symptom of something I’m dealing with. So please don’t forward my mail just yet. Oh, and my apologies to Brent Knopf (the guy who created Ramona Falls) but I can’t listen to that CD anymore. It’s just a bit too dark, but I will definitely come back to it at a later date. He seems like such a sweet guy too:
Brent Knopf was a sweet guy. Remember when we bought stuff from him? :)
I love you my friend. I am so incredibly proud of you for hanging in there all of these months – and I know how hard it has been at various stages and how you’re sometimes only doing it for us. I view you as courageous. And I am certain that you’ll continue to feel better. Regardless, I’ll always be here for you. Always.
And I hope you keep writing here.
This is good.
Hey Roger, Ramona Falls are named after the falls near Mt. Hood up here. In case you didn't know already :-)
I did know that thanks to an interview a friend of mine did with Brent Knopf. He also informed her that the drawing of the falls on the t-shirt were some other falls. Have you heard the CD? I highly recommend it.
You don’t know me, but I’m glad you popped back up for post. Your mixes were an indie god send to me. Truly. You introduced me music that changed my life, and many of the songs and artists are among my favorites today. Thanks for making me Indie. :)
Yeah man, I enjoyed it quite a bit. They are obviously kind of a deal up in these parts being a local band and all. You should come up this way, I'll take you to the falls. It's one of my favorite hikes.